Wallowing In The Suckiness

Almost every year of my life my birthday has sucked and yesterday was no exception.  The two weeks preceding and the week following are usually an exercise in what can go wrong, does.  Out of 53 birthdays only four have pleasant memories attached, the day is a total waste as far as I'm concerned.

Yesterday started out badly and ended the same way.  I had a couple of dollars stashed away to do something nice for myself but when I went and checked my balance it was zero.  Actually it was less than zero.  Not only did the Franchise Tax Board attach a levy to my account with no notice and no paperwork to me, the Bank of America charged me $100 for processing paperwork I haven't even seen and they said they won't give it back even if the FTB determines that I'm a hardship case. B of A sucks hind tit and if I ever have money again I'm going to a community bank.

So, while I was checking into donating plasma for cash (they advertise in the part time jobs section on Craigslist) someone called about my car for sale.  We chatted, I gave him directions and he said he would be here in half an hour, that was at 12:46 pm.  I'm still waiting.  A few minutes later a woman called and asked about the car and if she could see it today.  I said yes and explained that it was my birthday and that I had things to do.  She said she would be here within the hour and didn't show up until after five. She and her boyfriend looked at the car, said she didn't bring the money with her and could she get back to me in an hour.  I'm still waiting.  Obviously I never made it to the plasma center yesterday which is only delaying the inevitable.

If it wasn't for the computer I wouldn't have had any birthday wishes at all.  KFOG sent me a happy birthday sung by KT Tunstall, AMC offered me a free large drink if I attended the movies but they have no theaters in Nevada, Red Robin sent me a coupon for a free burger, a market survey company sent me a virtual candle and Lance sent me an electronic card.  Neither brother was heard from and mom not only didn't know it was my birthday, but she thought I was born August 19, 1965.  It truly does suck when the woman who gave birth to you doesn't remember when she did it.  It won't be long before she forgets who I am and then I can put her in a home with a clear conscience.

I made dinner, watched some tv and for the first time since my divorce 29 years ago, cried myself to sleep.  For all of about an hour and then I tossed and turned for the rest of the night.  I've never questioned why Blackdog did what he did because I understand all too well how one can be pushed to the edge.  53 years on this planet and I have nothing to show for it except debt that is never going to go away.

Oh yeah, as of yesterday my acupuncture license passed into oblivion and the only thing I have to show for the four years of school is a $100,000 loan that accumulates more interest every second and that I will never earn enough to pay it off.

And the cherry on top?  Nothing has changed for the better in this country since the election.  The names and faces may have changed but the policies are still the same.  Who would have ever thought that Jesse Ventura would be the shining light in today's political landscape?  The only laugh I had yesterday was watching the clip of him on Inanity's show.  If only more politicians had cojones like that I wouldn't fear so much for my country.

I'm going back into hiding now as a smaller target is harder to hit and it will probably be another week before the bad mojo wears off and life can return to some semblance of...whatever. 

BBB