As I'm sure many of you have noticed, I don't post as often as I used to. There are several reasons for this, all negative. I'm tired. Tired of wasting my time pointing out the hypocrisy and stupidity of what passes for politics. Tired of posting about the same issues as very little has changed since I started blogging four years ago and what change there has been has not been for the better. No matter how many times we've been promised "hope and change".
Civil rights are disappearing daily courtesy of a a group of grumpy old men hell bent on returning us to a past where those who aren't like them knew their place. The people's wishes are consistently and constantly ignored by their "representatives" in Congress. Newspapers are disappearing at an alarming rate while so-called reporters piss and moan about a blogger getting to ask the president a question, totally ignoring the fact that reporters haven't done their job in so many years that they have made themselves irrelevant.
Then there is the ex-Vice President who made secrecy his policy while in office, and has used every legal procedure to prevent public knowledge of his activities for the last eight years, is now writing a memoir that will only reflect his point of view and make up facts and ignore the truth to portray the beginning of the 21st century dismemberment of the United States in a glorious light. If he was shorter and his epicanthic folds were different he could be our very own Kim Jong Il but the press likes to ignore those aspects of his character.
I'm tired of taking care of my mother. I have had little to no help and no time off for the last nine years. Unfortunately, she still recognizes me so I'm still holding up my side of the bargain but it becomes more difficult by the minute. Eight years ago I had a thriving practice, could afford to buy a car, go on vacation and pay my rent. Today I wonder how to afford toilet paper because food stamps will cover potato chips but not personal toiletries. I was so broke I sold the car but the person can only make payments so now I'm still destitute but have no transportation. And I still have to pay car insurance until the car is fully paid off but I can't take the dogs to the dog park. The first of the month is going to be a disaster of titanic proportions and I have no resources to ameliorate the situation.
I've tried leaving her for a few hours at a time but the stress isn't worth it. Shopping has become a hit and run affair. The dogs get out, burners are left on high on the stove, she totters around the neighborhood making everybody nervous because they think she is going to fall and if I take her out she deliberately wanders off if I go to the bathroom. Even if I take her to the same place all the time her sense of direction is so impaired that she can't find her way to the front door by herself. I can't put her in a home until I find a job and I can't find a job until I put her in a home.
I'm tired and losing hope faster than Afghani civilians during a surgical air strike. It shames me that the average American citizen won't stand up for their rights as they disappear into the ether yet can cheer on the Tiananmen tank protester or cry for Neda while turning their back on their fellow Americans in trouble as they occupy their time worrying about the latest celebrity divorce or who is going to win the current reality show du jour.