Sunday, July 24, 2005

Cookies Anyone? The Lemming Affect

This is absolutely frightening. People have been so worried about big brother that they didn't pay attention to his sneakly little brother silently working in the background. While the innocent have been worrying about the hassles of the no fly list every other aspect of their life has been tracked and entered into a database to manipulate them into following each other off a cliff.

Parties Are Tracking Your Habits: "
The GOP's mastery of data is changing the very nature of campaigning.

Rather than concentrating on building the widest possible support, the Republican Party now focuses on finding known and potential Republican voters, learning about their interests and concerns in unprecedented detail and then delivering to them a tailored message.

Both parties gather data on registered voters through public records such as voting history, voting registration rolls, driver's and hunting licenses and responses to issue surveys. Consumer data, often gathered from supermarkets, liquor stores, online book vendors, drugstores and auto dealerships and used increasingly in marketing campaigns, also are finding their way into the voter files kept by both parties.

But the depth of the Republican files is greater — they have been around longer and include more information — increasing the data's predictive power. The Republicans also have more money to buy top-notch consumer data from, say, supermarket chains and other retailers.

Republican and Democratic strategists refuse to reveal much detail about the consumer information they collect. But strategists did offer some examples.

Bourbon drinkers are more likely to be Republicans; gin is a Democratic drink. Military history buffs are likely to be social conservatives. Volvos are preferred by Democrats; Ford and Chevy owners are more likely Republican. Phone customers who have call waiting lean heavily Republican.

Strategists said that cross-referencing such seemingly disparate data can produce powerful correlations — and draw a roadmap for targeting messages to specific voters. Where a voter lives, what car she drives and what magazines she reads are all used to predict her position on specific issues."

Besides database manipulation there is also the Rollerball method to control the public. Distract and entertain the masses. Keep them from thinking about what is going on in the world. Don't show real news. Flash! Pop! Damsel in Distress! There is nothing to see here. Move along. Don't look behind the curtain. Follow the yellow brick road. A typical watercooler conversation might sound something like this to those people who don't watch television on a regular basis.

During the Amazing Race for Law and Order, the Desperate Housewives realized after Crossing Jordan that Smallville's weapons of mass destruction had once again disappeared Without A Trace. Meanwhile Joey vacations on his ranch fantasizing that by wearing everyday Scrubs his Friends will come back to Primetime and he will be King of the Hill on That 70's show, Once Again. Las Vegas has reduced that Fear Factor to Medium, since according to Hardball it is a Cold Case that Larry King and Inside Editon won't touch .

A Crime Scene Investigation of Grey's Anatomy ensued after a Dragnet revealed Criminal Intent when Meet The Press entered The West Wing and found a Dead Zone. Where's Gannon when you need him. It used to be Joe but I think it's Jeff now. Meanwhile Two and a Half Men want to be a Rock Star and the two Gilmore Girls are playing House as if nothing is wrong. The Average Joes are striking back at the Special Victims Unit and I Want to Be a Hilton, not really. The Bold and The Beautiful teamed with The Young and The Restless for 60 Minutes on the WWF before they went to General Hospital for treatment. Big Brother is just starting to realize that the Empire is in serious need of the ER, while According to Jim, the King of Queens and My Wife and Kids are off Trading Spouses with George Lopez.

Now this isn't everyone's idea of 7th Heaven, but we can't all be a Monk and live like a lowly Apprentice. The Daily Show might recommend an Extreme Makeover of the upcoming E-Ring, not a Nip/Tuck, but this is a Less Than Perfect solution when what Amurica really wants is The Shield to Rescue Me from Over There in 24 so we can return to Everwood to pass the Days of Our Lives with All My Children.

Behind the O.C all is not yet Lost! The polling Numb3rs reveal that with Hope and Faith the Arrested Development of Veronica Mars can be fixed with 8 Simple Rules to ensure that there will be at least one Survivor among the 4400 who will be able to say that What I Like About You is the Stargate you built so I can join Battlestar Galactica and battle enemies that don't believe in the one true god. Revelations.

Or something like that. Dateline Santa Clara.

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