Sleeping Alone

If I ever get involved in a relationship again, I plan on having my own room. Sleeping is like going to the movies, you aren't supposed to talk, you are there for a specific reason which can best be accomplished without distractions.

Estranged Bedfellows: "'It represents this cookie-cutter model that developed in the early 20th century that told people you had to get every single need met by this constant togetherness,' said Coontz. 'It doesn't tie in with what we know about the variety of coupled relationships that have worked in history.'

What's more, noted Coontz, a professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Washington state, that model doesn't fit contemporary life, in which couples marry later, bringing more experiences and habits to their relationships. The notion that one should be 'permanently turned on, permanently available -- that if you sleep in another room, maybe you're not very sexual -- is just an unnecessary burden for modern couples,' she said.

Shana and David Jacobs of Chevy Chase aren't particularly troubled by that notion. The two physicians often go to bed apart: She's a very light sleeper and he's a pretty heavy snorer. David, 34, said he finds it reassuring that Shana's mother and one of her sisters also need to sleep apart from their spouses to get some rest. As for Shana, 32, she said simply, 'To be honest, I have never really seen the appeal of spending the whole night sleeping next to somebody. Just because I love someone and want to spend my life with them, doesn't mean I want to be in the same bed at the same time. I just don't see the connection.'"

Neither do I.

Tags: Sleep