Heaven Forbid it Should Be the Other Way Around

Kids who have money refuse to help their parents over imagined issues and their chance at power and control. I remember my mom giving my brothers the last change in her purse to pay for the ice cream truck. What she thought was her parental duty in making sure her sons had treats, was unappreciated and worst of all...expected as their due.

The Bank of Mom and Dad - New York Times: "And like many of his peers — educated, employed, urban-dwelling young adults — he receives monthly assistance from his parents, in the form of a $300 check and the payment of his cellphone bill.

This is not the largesse of wealthy families doled out through trust funds. Nor is the money a couple of $20 bills tucked into a card at the holidays. Mr. McGuinness and others like him are the beneficiaries of an increasingly common subsidy arriving regularly from Mom and Dad, something like a family fellowship.

It helps to pay for housing, bills and travel expenses, and the support has been increasing for the past two decades as education is extended, marriage is delayed and young people take the scenic route from adolescence to adulthood.

'Everybody I know is supporting their children in some way,' said Gail Horowitz, Mr. McGuinness's mother, a vice president of the Zlokower Company, a public relations firm in Manhattan. Unlike young adults who 'boomerang' back home to live with their parents — the subject of the recent comedy 'Failure to Launch' — these young people live independently. But they need help to make ends meet, or put another way, to maintain a middle-class way of life."

We would all like to have a middle class way of life, but some children take everything their parents can do for them and then run away in an effort to avoid their own responsibility. Away with tens of thousands of dollars that they never contribute back to their parents, but use for "personal" purposes that have nothing to do with helping to improve or extend the lives of the people who raised them.

I felt pretty bad about my brothers' behavior (left her completely stranded monetarily (no printed checks or ATM card because they canceled her account and since I had just deposited my disability check in her account, left me no way to buy food or gas) in an effort to make her do something their way, even though she told them their demands were unacceptable to her. You are supposed to compromise with your parent, not the other way around. Then I met this guy over the weekend whose own brother screwed him out of over a million and I sort of don't feel so bad about my family's issues. Sort of, but the lack of help as their mother is evicted never ceases to amaze me. I let all my bills lapse, the car payment was due a few days ago and once again I had to let my acupuncture license fall by the wayside
, but between getting help to fix the motorhome and making sure that it is safe, I'm completely tapped out until for another week. And the doctor is now sending me to a podiatrist since I am developing drop foot which might make driving a tad more interesting. The thyroid isssue might be contributing, but I won't know for a few days and a visit to an endincrinolgist.

I'll bet if she had lots of money, they would have lots of time for her. But since they already stole everything of value and ran, why not leave the debris (mom) behind? Baffles me, but I have to solve the problem (nothing new) and then hear about how I would have received help if I had been willing to kiss someone's ass in Macy's window.

Not happening in this lifetime. The battered women's shelters are goingto receive some pretty nice stuff for someone else to get started.

Isn't life fun? The cable was just disconnected in the middle of this post, now I have to rely on phone access to post, bank or communicate. No 24 tonight, bummer. It was just getting good.

Tags: supporting children, battered women, family issues, 24