24 Snark

The first of the two hour finale was okay, then it went straight downhill. We started with a two minute President (not worth taking your clothes off!) and then proceeded not to answer a few basic questions. Like. What happened with the bluetooth guys (Paul McCrane and Co.), where was Curtis, and why couldn't they get D.B. Woodside back to reprise his role as the President Palmer's brother, to say nothing of his two children?

Jack gets through another rough day on ‘24’ - TV DRAMA - MSNBC.com: "Any '24' fan can tell what's probably going to happen next season. Bauer and the country will be in trouble. The Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) in Los Angeles will be tasked with saving the day. A cadre of loyalists will be there to support his efforts, although the death of show regulars David Palmer, Michelle Dessler (Reiko Aylesworth) and Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard) this season means that Bauer won't have as many names programmed into his ever-present PDA.

But Chloe O'Brien (Mary Lynn Rajskub), the queen of the computer whose system never crashes, will be back. Bill Buchanan (James Morrison) looks like he'll return to run CTU, as will Curtis Manning (Roger Cross). On the government side, Homeland Security's Karen Hayes (Jayne Atkinson) seems to be a sympathizer, and there's always Mike Novick (Jude Ciccolella), who's now worked for two different presidents and betrayed both.

Don't get too attached. A bunch of them will die, since CTU breeds moles and traitors like most offices produce gossip. And several of the dead will be people the audience has been conditioned to care about, since the show tosses its minor stars overboard whenever things get stale. Nobody gets to retire on '24' — as soon as a character's story arc has run its course, it's time for the nerve gas, car bomb or bullet. CTU's pension costs must be the lowest in the history of mankind."

Now, that was funny. I really didn't think Aaron (Glenn Morshower, he was the Man this season) was going to make it. He and Mike Novick (the betrayer) are the only other characters left from Season One. I don't count Kim, nobody in their right mind would.

One of the character's attributes is his ability to get people to trust him who have no logical reason to do so; sometimes it seems like he could talk Fox News into running a gushing Bill Clinton biopic. If his trustworthiness is brought into question, both for other characters and the audience in general, it would go a long way towards keeping this show at the forefront of the pop culture landscape. It would be something different, at least for those who never saw "The Manchurian Candidate" or its mediocre 2004 remake.

Get a grip. And a memory. Jack was addicted to drugs the first part of Season Three and then he regretfully executed his boss at the behest of the terrorists. George Mason did the honorable thing and died in the line of duty blowing up the nuclear bomb in Season Two. Henderson doesn't really count because he was a bad guy and deserved what he got, if he really is dead. There does seem to be some discussion on the boards.

I knew it was the Chinese. They have long memories, longer than Jack's apparently. So Jack, who were you going to call? See you in January, take care of yourself until then. Shanghaied on a slow boat to China. Craig that was funny. Didn't you see the name of the boat?

Pay attention in the future, as a critic you seem to be missing all of the inside jokes.

Tags: 24, Jack Bauer, slow boat to china, inside jokes