Friday, July 13, 2007

I've Been Hiding

Last Tuesday I was humiliated at work in a way that I have never been. I'm not a fragile flower, otherwise I would never have made it through basic training, I can take criticism but this was beyond the pale and totally uncalled for because it wasn't criticism, it was a personal attack in public. It has affected every aspect of my life and I am not happy about it. What passes for management in my company leaves a lot to be desired.

We were in a meeting (dog knows how I hate them anyway, they're usually useless and prevent one from getting any work done) and as usual every time I tried to say something I was told to wait. I had been asked to do something over the weekend because no one else was available and would I please make a detailed report. On Monday I tried to give my report four separate times and was blown off for various reasons. Our boss has been on a tear for the past week and everyone is afraid of her so they were running around trying to make her happy which wasn't working. The way she talks to people can be extremely inappropriate and demeaning, no one was left unscathed.

So after preventing me from giving my report for over 24 hours, we and all of the management of our company are now in a meeting with the client's family, and as I stated before I was prevented from speaking several times. About two hours in, something came up and everyone said, "whew, it's a good thing that hasn't happened " and I said "that's not true." My boss demanded that I explain the circumstances and then she went off on me. Loudly. For several minutes. She accused me of trying to cover up for people, of withholding information and not being a team player just to get started. That was the nice version. She is yelling this and then tells me that if this is an example of my behavior, the company can do without me and I can just walk out the door and never come back and other assorted statements along this line.

Unfortunately I'm 51 not 21 so I didn't just get up and leave. Deep inside I was holding on to "never argue with a fool or a drunk, it's hard for the people watching to tell the difference" but I am boiling inside and I'm deeply embarrassed. I have bills to pay and I am trying to be responsible, otherwise I would have let the screen door hit me on the ass. Unprofessional is the nicest description of her behavior and she took every opportunity to snipe at me for the rest of the meeting. Even for things that I was not a part of and had no control or influence over.

I don't make enough money to begin with and I certainly don't make enough money for someone to humiliate me in public. I no longer care about doing my job and they have cut my hours to the point that I really don't see the point in disturbing my morning by going to work for two hours a day, so since I have been called in for another meeting (ostensibly to give a report on the progress of my client), it will be my last report. They don't pay me enough to be used and abused and I was looking for a job when I found this one.

I'm not particularly interested in cutting and running but since there has been no apology and I have been avoiding everything and everyone, I might as well quit and look for a better opportunity. I will miss the clients but I definitely won't miss the management or the abuse. There have been other slights over the past few months but this last one was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'll be back later, after I've tidied up the loose ends.

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