Sneppah tihs

The updated version. The list now covers religions of every belief except the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Taoism Shit happens
Hare Krishna Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding
Confucianism shit happens, is it really shit?
Hinduism This shit happened before
Zen What really is the sound of shit happening?
Protestantism Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK
Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough
Episcopalianism If shit happens, hold a procession
Lutheranism Shit won't happen if I work harder. Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK
Anglicanism It's true, shit does happen - but only to Lutherans
Catholicism If shit happens, I must have deserved it
Charismatic Catholicism Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway
Judaism Why does shit always happen to us?g the deal?
Reform Judaism Got any laxatives?
Islam If shit happens, take a hostage
Nation of Islam Don't take no shit!
New Age For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit
Wicca If shit happened once, it will happen twice more
Jehovah's Witnesses Knock Knock, "Shit Happens"
Secular Humanism Shit evolves
Darwinism Survival of the shittiest
Christian Science When shit happens, don't call a doctor-pray
Atheism I don't believe this shit
Religion from an Atheist's point of view I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's shit
Agnosticism You can't prove any of this shit
Rastafarianism Let´s smoke this shit!
Mormonism If shit happens, shun it
Energizer Bunny Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and ...
Baptist You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it
Southern Baptist Shit will happen. Praise the lord
Iraqi Baathist Oh shit!
Voodoo Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you
Televangelism Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening
Unitarianism It's not the shit that matters. It's the process
Orthodox Saint Sergius found his faith in deep shit
Greek Orthodox Shit happens, usually in three's
EST I am at cause that shit will not happen
Fundamentalism There's no shit in the Bible
Twelve Step Shit happens one day at a time
Amish This modern shit is worthless
Shintoism You inherit the shit of your ancestors
Moonies Only happy shit really happens
Stoicism This shit is good for me
Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time
Bahaism Why do you keep shitting on us?
Mysticism This is really weird shit
Paganism Shit happens for a variety of reasons
Rajhneesh Give us your shit and put on this orange shit
Rosicrucianism What is this AMORC shit?
Satanism Sneppah tihs
Witchcraft Mix this shit together and it will happen
Scientology If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you
Shamanism Whoaa...Holy Shit!
Sikhism Leave our shit alone
Sureshism You are all pieces of shit