Thursday, November 08, 2007

If Only

I could think as fast as this person did. I hate stupid questions and honestly do try to restrict my answers but sometimes one just has to respond. I'm still snickering. Reprinted form Alternate Brain because it is just that good.
I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big Wand standing in line at the check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid broad... why else would I buy dog food??]

'Cause ya got company comin'? Put toothpicks in the kibbles, they'll never know the difference...
Can't you just see the people who were standing in line trying to retell this story to their friends?


  1. It was the sister of my college roommate who asked me, "Do you know WHY a male dog licks its balls?" When I replied, "No?", she responded, "Because he can".

  2. Another joke is, a guy sees a dog lickin' its balls, says to his buddy, "Gee, I wish I could do that!"

    Replies his bud, "Maybe ya better pet him first..."


    Good jokes (and even some that ain't so good) should always be shared, and you can post anything I do, any time.

  3. LOL, thanks for the good chuckle! I am often tempted to do something similiar, but don't.

  4. Good one Deb. That reminded me of the first time I connected with your site- it was a joke about an an older Amish (I think) guy in the city with his son watching, beautiful young women walk out of the elevator. Rick J

  5. Thank you, I guess I need to post more jokes. I know I need more laughs.